Are you a busy parent concerned that you aren’t spending enough quality time with your children? Do you wish you had more time for them, but after work and other responsibilities, it’s just not possible?
A lot of parents with busy lives wind up feeling guilty at the end of the week for not having spent enough time with the children that they love. Many working mothers and fathers must work long hours, and struggle with the idea of not ‘being there’ for their kids. Don’t you wish there was a way to maximize the time that you do have with them? The good news… you can start right now to learn how to spend quality time with your children.
It doesn’t require taking a weekend vacation to meet your child’s needs for your time and attention. In fact, it doesn’t even take a day trip to the zoo! All your children need is time with you that is spend talking or doing something together where you are focusing on them. Reading a book in the evening, making a batch of cookies, blowing bubbles outside…all of these things give your children what they need. Below are some important points about making the time you have with your children into quality time:
1: Turn off the electronics. To make it quality time, you need for your children need to know that they have your full attention. So, turn off your cell phone and blackberry. Take the house phone off the hook. Turn off the TV. Do whatever it takes to minimize the distractions of technology.
2: Don’t panic. You don’t have to be without your gadgets for long. Just try it for ten minutes. You and your child will both feel like the ten minutes you spent together was of a higher quality than if you spent 30 minutes and were interrupted by your cell phone calls!
3. Be in the present. One of the many things we admire and love about children is how much they live in the present moment. This is why it is so important for you to be in the present moment with them while you are spending quality time. Don’t think about all the things that need to be done; don’t agonize about the meeting earlier that day with your boss. Instead, stay in the present. It will be great for your kids, and it will also be a fantastic break for you from the everyday stresses of life.
4. Be an active listener. Many people think that listening is the passive act of hearing someone’s words. Children need more than this; they need an adult who can hear what they are saying and reflect it back to them. When your children speak, hear the words and then repeat back what you heard. You may or may not have heard it right, so you need to test it out. This can also have the added benefit of helping children increase their understanding of their own emotional processes. Need an example? See “How to Really Listen to your Kids” article to come.
5. Find small pieces of time. Make yourself squeeze in quality time whenever possible. Even if it’s only two minutes, you can still provide your child with your love, attention, advice, encouragement, or other kind of support. Your children do not keep a record of the number of minutes that you were there for them. Instead, they develop general feeling of whether or not you are there for them as a consistent source of physical, emotional, and mental support. So find small bits of time. Need some ideas? See “Ideas for Quality Time with your Kids” to come soon.
Next posts: “How to Really Listen to your Kids” and “Ideas for Quality Time with your Kids”
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